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Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Runs with Diapers

I’m writing this and the next post at Jazzy’s prompting. She can’t believe all the crazy things I’ve made her wear over the past month!
Several weeks ago, Jasmine got a urinary infection.  It seemed like all I did was clean up dribbles of urine.  The fact that she had been pretty close to housetrained really flew right out the window!  That is, until I found that pair of little denim doggie pants that I had packed away in the dog supply box.  I just knew I would have another need for them one day!  But I only had one pair of pants, so the problem remained that when one pair was wet or being washed, there was nothing else to put on her. 

To solve that problem, a co-worker of mine sent me home with a package of disposable doggie diapers in pretty patterns of pink checkers and polka dots – who knew there was such a thing?!   But it was now, that my adventures truly began …
Anyone who has tried to put a diaper on a wiggly toddler single-handedly has had an easier job than I had!  Picture this – One excited puppy racing in from the back yard, ready to run and wrestle with the other dogs; one person, standing all alone, poised to catch said puppy with one hand while shaking open the diaper with the other.  I catch her easy enough, but I quickly realize that I need many more than two hands to accomplish this task.  Thinking that I can stabilize Jasmine and hold her still with my legs while my hands manipulate the diaper, I put her between my legs and try to hold her still with my calves.  With my free hand I make several attempts to poke her wagging tail through the small hole in the back of the diaper.  By the time I get the tail poked through the hole, Jazzy has managed to contort herself and is now lying upside down between my feet.  Her tail is back out of the diaper and is wagging wildly from side to side while she tries to escape.  What a grand new game I have invented for her!
I lift her up into a standing position once again and reposition her between my legs with her head facing behind me.  This gives me a clear view and easy (?) access to her tail.  Whether it’s because she is deaf and can’t hear me, or she can’t see just exactly what my hands are doing to her rear end, or maybe just because she’s a puppy – we repeat this wiggling scenario several times before I get it right!  Jazzy is having the time of her life, wiggling and leaping, trying to spin between my legs.  I really need to start working on my calf muscles!
Tails make great handles, and when I finally got the tail through the tail hole for the third time, I grabbed her tail – thus preventing it from being pulled back out.  My other hand can now pull the rest of the diaper down between her rear legs to her belly.  Now what?  My hands are both busy, as are my legs.  Jazzy is still wiggly, although not quite as badly as before.  She’s now entertaining herself with grabbing and shaking the back of my pant legs with her teeth.
By removing my hand from her tail and sliding it to hold the upper part of the diaper on her back, I now have one hand on the top and one on the bottom – AND – the tail is still in the tail hole!  The other dogs are all gathered around, curious as to what this new game entails and staring in disbelief!  I have no free hands to shoo their curious noses out of the way. 
I’m finally able to maneuver my hands to attach one side of the diaper flaps, then the other!  One final last-minute adjustment to make sure both sides are even and I release the bucking bronco Jasmine from my grasp.  I breathe a deep sigh of relief, proud of myself for my success. I don’t remember diapering to be an Olympic sport, but perhaps it should be! 
Back to Jasmine.  Jasmine leaped from my grasp, tearing off into the living room!  Freedom!  Freedom at last!  I see some puppy zoomies coming on.  When suddenly she begins spinning in tight circles, like a child’s top, across the floor, trying desperately to grasp the strange paper product that has attached itself to her rear end!  I’ve never seen anything like it.  She is running straight ahead, but the whole time she is spinning and reaching for the diaper.  She can almost reach it, but it is hanging on to her for dear life!  She rolls on the floor, she bucks, she jumps, she runs.  She even stops and play bows, and then circles the other way, but that paper is stuck to her for good.  It is not coming off.
I’m happy to say that each time got easier and Jasmine became cooperative and comfortable wearing her diapers.  And I’m VERY happy to say that she only had to wear them for a couple days until the medications kicked in and the peeing stopped!
Jazzy and I thought we were home free!  No more pants!  No more diapers!  No more tail holes!  Yippee …

Jasmine, AKA "Runs with Diapers"

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